Thursday, April 4, 2013

Sweet Memory Makeover: Beauty and the beast!

So I had a conversation with one of my best friends and somehow the subject came about Disney movies and how much she adores Beauty and the Beast. Of course, I took it in my hands to destroy her fond memories of the movie by writing this very post.....what?That's how I show my love to my friends! :P

So the story starts off with the short summary on how the Beast turned into...err a beast....seriously what is the name of this guy?And the dude was a Prince,how did anyone in the so called kingdom not know he turned into a beast?So much for loyal subjects!Anyways,so the back story is simple,an old lady wanted some shelter but the Prince refused because he thought she was ugly and asked her to go away. The old lady then reveals her true self as a beautiful enchantress and punishes the Prince for his rude judgement and turns him into a beast and the rest of the servants of the castle into talking furniture. Umm,magic lady,I know you wanted to teach him a lesson,but what did the servants ever do to deserve that?However,the magic babe does tell him how the curse can be broken!He is to find a girl who will love him before the last petal of a magic rose fell or else the curse will remain forever!

So,then we are introduced to Belle, a beautiful and smart girl who seems weird in everyone's eyes because she loved reading books compared to just sitting pretty and behave like a silly useless bimbo.I like that,you go girl! Either that or they find her weird because she reads books to sheep.....No really just look at this...

But you know when you think about it,the weirdness probably runs in the family.Her father is a good example,he is an inventor and is pretty much the laughing stock of the village because of his crazy attitude and inventions....freaking idiots,there is nothing wrong in being weird! If anything they are drooling over the villain,Gaston,who is seriously,a prick perv who wants nothing but get down on Belle's tatas!But because of his good looks and manly points,people apparently love him.Oh people,you so sillyeh!

Moving on,the father then heads off to a competition in the hopes of winning a prize for his invention,but he soon gets lost in the woods probably because he was using Apple maps and ends up in the Beast's castle to look for shelter. Don't worry,his invention looked like crap,it didn't look like he was going to win anyway. So he comes across a talking candle thingy named Mr.Lumiere, who welcomes the poor lost father into the castle,this angers the Beast and is thrown into a dungeon for trespassing.Geez,Beast!Why you gotta be like that?

Well anyways,Belle soon eventually finds out that her father is in danger and sets off to find him,and she does eventually find him because she was smart enough not to use Apple maps...okay okay I am done with that joke.She then makes a deal with the Beast to have her take her father's place as a prisoner for life, to which the Beast agrees.Obviously the Beast would agree,she is like a free mail in order bride,which guy would say no to that?Especially the Beast who seems to only love pretty ladies!

And well,the rest is quite obvious,they start having little moments together,Oh it's so cute,it's so lovely dovey,she sees that he is a nice guy in the inside even those he looks like a well groomed Chewbacca.And he of course,learns to have a heart and lower his bad temper thanks to her care. You know,disney stuff,because they are awfully good in making love look so darn good...sometimes....

And then of course,the villain plays his part, after some goofish misunderstandings and brainstorming later,he realizes that the only way he could get Belle to be his wife was by killing the Beast. Several Disney family friendly action scenes later,Gaston falls to his death,she confesses that she loves him and breaks the curse. And wouldn't you know it,it's all done right before the last petal of the magic rose convenient.Although there was one scene in particular that got my attention...does anyone remember the french maid feather duster?The one who has a rendezvous with the candlestick?Well during the fight scene....did I just happen to witness a attempted rape in the process?I mean look at this?Feather duster perv!!!!

And then they lived happily ever after, no no not the perv I mean Belle and the Beast...He finally transforms into a human and so does everyone else in the castle and the throw a big fat wedding,of course the villagers were not invited,they are wretched people!!And who is to thank for this happily ending?It was none other than the talking candle stick..Mr Lumiere!!

WHY???Think about it!!!If the candle dude did not invite the father for shelter,the beast would have not locked the father up,meet Belle and eventually get married and break the curse. Also,the dude is brave and charming and he sings which happens to my fav..."be my guest,be my guest...tralalalala"!So if anything,he is the unspoken hero who deserves all the respect he can get..heck he deserves even more respect because some people know his actual name more than they know the name of the beast!So Lumiere,I salute you!With that I end my silly ramble for today!!I shall catch you guys later....HACHA CHA CHAA!!*does the jazz hands*

OKay that was a horrible ending...I apologize...moo -.-